Movies

Premature Judging
From a couple weeks ago.

I look at the top 5 box office movies. I probably haven’t seen them, but I’ll still judge them.

1. 8 below
I’ve never even heard of this movie How the heck did it get into the number 1 spot? Well It’s about dogs and a guy somewhere cold. I’m going to have to say it’s a boring movie that attempts to be emotional and be heartwarming, but it will fail. It probably has some cheesy cliché ending where the guy gets saved. Or if it doesn’t It’ll have a cliché ending where the guy dies, but his dogs remain loyal. Get real if your in the cold and surrounded by wolf-like dogs, your probably going to get eaten.

2. Date Movie
Hmm…. This was a tough one. I’d have to say it’s a parody of romantic comedies? But I’m not sure. Whatever it is it looks bad. Romantic comedies aren't funny, and neither will this. Seriously, it looks about as funny as the History Channel.

3. The Pink Panther
Oh my, possibly the worst movie of the year. I feel it’s wasted my time, and I haven’t even seen it. I saw the commercial though. It was a foreigner guy who was dumb, and couldn’t pronounce the word hamburger. If I wanted to watch people mispronounce things, I’d go to another country, to New York, New Jersey, the Midwest, or an English as a second language class. However I’m surprised. This movie has Steve Marten. Steve Marten is supposed to be funny. Always. If he was defusing a bomb in a crowded elevator full of High ranking politicians, I’d expect him to be entertaining them while simultaneously clipping the correct wires. He’s just supposed to be funny. If you don’t believe me go out and rent his best of Saturday Night Live dvd. How can a guy so funny make such a bad movie? I don’t know. However I just can’t see this movie as being entertaining, only making me feel disappointed in Steve Marten.

4. Curious George
What's this? It looks like a good movie.
Looks like a good movie. I like Curious George. I read them when I was litte. It’s probably good. It’s animated in 2d which is nice. If they had done a cgi monkey with real actors it probably would have sucked. No, it would have sucked. Curious George is just a monkey who's curious, although he may not be appealing to most people I think it will be a good movie to entertain younger children.
Probably has more plot/coolness/apeal/and funny then any other movie in this list.

5. Final Destination 3
Sequels are almost never good. The 3rd movie in a series is even more likely to suck. Just by the 3 in the title I predict suckiness. You may be thinking, but there are so many trilogies. If the 3rd movie was better do you think it would be a trilogy? No, they would have made another movie. Final Destination is about people dying. And this one has something to do with a roller coaster. Despite the obvious potential of a spiraling deathcoaster, I think they will find a way to screw it up.