Movies

Premature Judging
From a couple weeks ago.

I look at the top 5 box office movies. I probably haven’t seen them, but I’ll still judge them.

1. 8 below
I’ve never even heard of this movie How the heck did it get into the number 1 spot? Well It’s about dogs and a guy somewhere cold. I’m going to have to say it’s a boring movie that attempts to be emotional and be heartwarming, but it will fail. It probably has some cheesy cliché ending where the guy gets saved. Or if it doesn’t It’ll have a cliché ending where the guy dies, but his dogs remain loyal. Get real if your in the cold and surrounded by wolf-like dogs, your probably going to get eaten.

2. Date Movie
Hmm…. This was a tough one. I’d have to say it’s a parody of romantic comedies? But I’m not sure. Whatever it is it looks bad. Romantic comedies aren't funny, and neither will this. Seriously, it looks about as funny as the History Channel.

3. The Pink Panther
Oh my, possibly the worst movie of the year. I feel it’s wasted my time, and I haven’t even seen it. I saw the commercial though. It was a foreigner guy who was dumb, and couldn’t pronounce the word hamburger. If I wanted to watch people mispronounce things, I’d go to another country, to New York, New Jersey, the Midwest, or an English as a second language class. However I’m surprised. This movie has Steve Marten. Steve Marten is supposed to be funny. Always. If he was defusing a bomb in a crowded elevator full of High ranking politicians, I’d expect him to be entertaining them while simultaneously clipping the correct wires. He’s just supposed to be funny. If you don’t believe me go out and rent his best of Saturday Night Live dvd. How can a guy so funny make such a bad movie? I don’t know. However I just can’t see this movie as being entertaining, only making me feel disappointed in Steve Marten.

4. Curious George
What's this? It looks like a good movie.
Looks like a good movie. I like Curious George. I read them when I was litte. It’s probably good. It’s animated in 2d which is nice. If they had done a cgi monkey with real actors it probably would have sucked. No, it would have sucked. Curious George is just a monkey who's curious, although he may not be appealing to most people I think it will be a good movie to entertain younger children.
Probably has more plot/coolness/apeal/and funny then any other movie in this list.

5. Final Destination 3
Sequels are almost never good. The 3rd movie in a series is even more likely to suck. Just by the 3 in the title I predict suckiness. You may be thinking, but there are so many trilogies. If the 3rd movie was better do you think it would be a trilogy? No, they would have made another movie. Final Destination is about people dying. And this one has something to do with a roller coaster. Despite the obvious potential of a spiraling deathcoaster, I think they will find a way to screw it up.

What's up with those Courts?

Alright Courts are full of crazy cases, wasting everyone's money (except the lawyers).
Here is a short list of 3 things that should be changed about the courts.

1. Trying minors as adults.

I don't understand why they try 16 and 17 year olds as adults.
By law they are minors, so they should be tried as minors. They can't smoke, they can't vote, and they don't have to pay taxes. They aren't adults so don't try them as adults. It's really simple.

Less than 18 try them as a minor. 18 or older try as an adult. If these words where carved on the wall of every courtroom it would make things much easier.

2. Frivolous lawsuits

You spilled coffee on yourself? Tough luck. It's not like Mr. McDonald himself walked up to you and threw scalding hot coffee on your lap. You spilled coffee and whined about it. Just because you can't be trusted with a beverage that's hotter than luke-warm doesn't mean large corporations should have to pay for your stupidity. Sometimes you should just take what life gives you instead of being a jerk about the whole thing.

3. Hate Crimes

Up until now you've probably agreed with me. Unless your some kind of jerk who made a fortune suing dairy queen for not having a floor may be slippery sign.
But now you may be thinking that this third one is not right.

Well I'll try to explain it simply as I can, and work my way up the complexity levels.
Simply put: murdering someone, regardless of the motive, is still murdering someone
More complexly put: If i killed a guy because I felt like it, I should get the same number of years in Jail as a person who killed a guy because of his religion/race/sexuality/anything else that qualifies as a hate crime.

Moste complexly put: The consequenses of an action should be the same regardless of the reason that action was done.

Yeah so that's just 3 things i don't like about courts.